What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
