We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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