The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
