5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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