Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
