is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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