if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
