There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
