I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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