I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
