I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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