Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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