Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
