I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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