It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
