i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
