i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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