Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So many bounce houses so little time
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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