My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
