You can't motorboat a personality
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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