ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
