I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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