Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
