You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just found a bag of teeth...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
