What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
