since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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