Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
