Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
