ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
