You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
