my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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