I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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