i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
