Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
