i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
