I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
