Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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