Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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