But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
