it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
