you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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