Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
