fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
