Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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