I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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