another moral hangover. fuck.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
