i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
