told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
