he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I still have a little drunk in my system
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
PANTIES FOUND
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
