Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
