There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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