i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
