He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
