we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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