google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
