I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
