You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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